Reconciliation or Tough Love ,No Body

Reconciliation or Tough Love

An office reports that they have an answering machine that instructs callers to leave their name and address, and to spell out any difficult words.

Early one Monday when the secretary was reviewing the weekend messages, she heard an enthusiastic young woman recite her name and address and then confidently say, "My difficult word is reconciliation: R-E-C-O-N-C-I-L-I-A-T-I-O-N."

Forgiveness, as we have spelled out before, is dependent only on us. That's what makes it possible and that is what frees us. Reconciliation is the ideal to work towards, but sometimes it just isn't possible, as this is dependent on both parties.

To free ourselves from toxic, abusive people, we need to have healthy boundaries, exercise tough love, and make it very clear to these people that:

(1) We don't appreciate their critical, judgmental, and/or abusive treatment of us;

(2) That we will no longer tolerate it;

(3) That if it happens even one more time, we will distance ourselves from them; and

(4) We will not have any contact with them until they choose to treat us in a kind and loving manner.

And of course, we need to be absolutely sure that we always treat them in a kind and loving manner. Keep in mind, too, that the most loving thing to do with toxic people is to distance yourself from themfor your sake and theirs.

If you distance yourself from them, they may or may not change their treatment of you, but unless you exercise tough love, maintain healthy boundaries rather than keep on taking their abuse, you can be almost certain that they continue to abuse you.

What others do is their choice. What we allow them to do to us is our choice.

Tough words. Tough love. We too, need to love the things God loves and hate the things he hatesand God hates anything that is destructive of those whom he loves. Us!

Dear God ...

please give me ...

the courage ...

to stand ...

against abusive people ...

and the strength ...

to disallow them ...

to hurt me ...

Help me always ...

to know ...

what you would do ...

and give me ...

the courage to do it ...